Going Home
(now including a part two)

Sometime very soon I am going to take my family to see some places where I grew up. Homes, schools, hangouts, etc. They've seen a little of this or that, but I want to make a connection for them to me as a child....and sort of connect again myself. One place is an apartment community I lived in that was around a large lake with small unique playgrounds and a nature trail that went around the lake and through surrounding woods. I remember being 7 years old and standing outside by myself, envisioning what I would be like when I grew up. I sent a message to myself. I said "Hello", and that I hoped that my future self would deem this important and remember this moment and if so would not think I was silly. I didn't pick a specific age to reach out to, but I did understand that it was a far away time and that there was no telling where I'd be or what I would be like. I hoped that the Me in the future would think that the Me of now -1977- was smart, cute, deep, and special. For several minutes I stood there and focused, sending love, hoping that in some cosmic way my future self would say something back. Well, many years later in my twenties, I did think back to that little girl, and since then time and again I have said "hey" and sent love back to her. I do cherish her and will soon try to go stand back in that same place and see how it feels.

Part two-

"You Can't go back home"

Saturday, we drove halfway across the state to the city I grew up in (which is the 3rd largest city in the state) attempting to get a stronger feeling of attachment to those times and places I spent as a child growing up.... It has been 25 to 30 years since I lived at these places and nearly the whole city has gone to pot.
No view of "Memory Lane" anymore other than in my head...
The place I mentioned where that innocent little girl stood....now a lot of other people were standing out there....and without detailed descriptions of events that were happening, I'll just say there was no freakin' way I was gonna get out of my car and walk around those woods.
O.M.GODDDD!!!!!
No, I'm not that naive, as to presume that a certain amount of depreciation in appearance wouldn't have naturally happened over the years.....I expected it- but this is ridiculous. It was almost unrecognizable to the place I remember. This was at one time a nice urban multicultural community with apartments, condos and a highrise that surrounded a lake. There was once a nice pool with a lifeguard and a nice club house with a pool table, foosball, air-hockey, ping pong, etc. Ultra modern and clean. Now the pool is in shambles...shut down and the club house looks like a condemned shack. There used to be a pleasant nature trail with little wooden playgrounds that were very uniquely styled, unlike any I've seen since, and they were spaced apart at different places in the woods as it winded around the lake. A pretty lake with a nice dock. Now a nasty sludgy lake with a dilapidated dock. There was no way to prepare for that. It was depressing. I can't shake it off yet. Rickey made me laugh when he said, "Baby, if you want to stand out there, I'll have to bring a gun and you can have all the time you need." The world is becoming more and more savage. That is all I have to say.

more self expression :)

AB'S ART

This photo was taken by AB and is entitled "RAILS". She has been on my links at the sidebar as The Screaming Butterfly, but recently started another couple of blogs.
http://creative-wave.blogspot.com
She is a very creative and talented artist. She is a musician, she paints, sketches, writes awesome and inspiring poems, childrens books, and takes beautiful pictures with a keen eye for the simple beauty in life. She takes a picture of something from a certain angle, and many times the pictures make me feel as though I am looking at a painting.
This one makes me feel a sense of adventure awaits......life path leading to unknown opportunities and adventures around the bend. I mentioned this to her and she said yes, that it felt to her a sort of renewal.
There is another one I like that she took of a field of wild flowers that uplifted me. It made me think of
beauty in nature
picnics
feeling carefree
children running
playing
sundresses blowing in the wind
a blue sky


You can also see some of her poetry at http://myblueskydays.blogspot.com/

photo people.aol.com

People magazine is reporting that Jada Pinkett Smith has seen Suri Cruise.
"She's one of the sweetest babies I've ever met in my life," Pinkett Smith says. "She's an absolute beauty and she's Daddy's little girl."
Pinkett Smith and her husband Will Smith have visited with Suri twice, both times at Cruise and Holmes's Beverly Hills mansion.
"She's beautiful and they're very happy and they need to be left alone,"

photo popsugar.com


Well, that just settles EVERYTHING for me. Can we see the baby now that someone says they have seen it?
Now, I have discovered something else weird to focus on.
Tom's ex, pencil thin Nicole Kidman, has denied being pregnant before her marriage or now to Keith Urban.











LOL. Nooooooooooooooooo. :)
Either there is just a bloat thing going on that happens to all females here and there....OR--dare I say.... you don't think TOM got her pregnant---ooooops I mean Keith.


Okay- to recap:
Katie was pregnant, but it didn't look real.
Nicole isn't pregnant, but it does look real.
And we still have not seen
SURI.

The mystery continues......

I love Nintendo. Not so much the newer systems like Game Cube or the 64. I'm talking Regular and Super Nintendo game systems and those old games. Those came out a good bit after Atari, although Atari was pretty cool way back in the day, too. I wasn't much on space invaders and asteroids the way my brother was, although I was really into Pac-Man. I can still hear the sound effects in my head for Pac-Man. I liked to play Ms. Pac-man and Q-bert at the arcade. For many years at home, I was the absolute undefeated Master Queen of Video Games and could beat any game I was interested in better than anyone else in the family. Then, *sigh*, Jason surpassed me with games I wasn't interested in and I kind of got out of it altogether.
Occasionally, I will drag out the old stuff and show my skills are still sharp. I try to get into some newer stuff, but I get bored easily and seem to have lost the passion to play. They actually seem more detail oriented to me on alot of the older games than alot of the new ones, which appear on the surface to be superior--flashy with high graphics, and multi-dimensional controlling, but lack the depth, originality and adventure. Nintendo is coming out with a new system this year, I think, with new Mario adventures, so who knows... :)

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it. You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you. Your near future is all about change, but in very small steps. The end of the journey looks far, but it's much closer than you realize. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

RANDOM

I am at a loss on what to post about. But I'm more compelled to post something than nothing, so I'm curious as to where this will go. Think I'll just be random with it.
While visiting at his dad's house, Dylan got stitches last weekend. On his chin. One thing I've learned from raising two boys---somewhere along the way I discovered that I could have a plastic surgeon called in to the emergency room to sew up an injury. If the cut was going to be in an obvious place such as on their face, I gratefully utilized this option. If you have never experienced the difference between the typical ER doctor and a plastic surgeon......the contrast in skill and the resulting scar is astonishing. The ER uses a thick black thread and the stitches are typically loose with noticeable knots and unevenly done. You are told to wait 7 to 10 days before having them removed. The plastic surgeon uses ultra ultra thin blue thread and makes the tiniest stitches and sews with the utmost precision you could imagine. To avoid knotting hole scars, they remove them in only 5 days and the eventual scar is almost nonexistent. Well, my ex-hubby evidently doesn't value the results as much as I do, because he just took him to the local "po-dunk" little hospital in the small town he lives in and had the ER doctor do it. I found out after the fact, of course. grrrrrrr

Still battling my weight. grrrrrrr

Still wondering when we are going to see Tom and Katie's baby, Suri, and what the baby will look like.

Most of the movies we have seen this summer have been a disappointment, with the exception of The Lake House, The Break Up, and The Devil Wears Prada. I totally suffered through Superman and Pirates Of The Caribbean. We saw You, Me, and Dupree today and it was so-so. You are probably thinking "My God, how many have they seen and how often do they go ?!?" Yes, we are movie addicts. We try to go during the day to save money and avoid crowds. We see one to two movies every week. We may need to join a support group at some point. I'll be seeing My Super Ex-girlfriend this weekend. :)

I recently got a free sample of non-prescription colored contacts while Rickey was at the eye doctor, and I was fascinated with seeing myself with a different eye color. I've never worn contacts or glasses. I'm told I have 20/20 vision, but I must have previously had even better vision than that, because I know I just don't see quite as well anymore. Anyway, after the torture of getting them in, I decided:
a. contacts are extremely annoying to put in, wear, and take out
b. I hope I NEVER need glasses, because every pair I tried on looked absolutely terrible on me, even the expensive ones, so I know I'd wear contacts
c. The color tint was so mild and nothing special
d. I truly love my natural color :)

I want to close this with another topic, but I am again at a loss. I'd actually written a couple of brief paragraphs on other topics, but just wasn't feeling it for one reason or another.

I can't believe it is already Friday. Have a good weekend. :)

What Do These Women Have In Common?























age 37


photo askmen.com















43


handbag.com
















42

photo askmen.com










59!




photo empiremovies.com






40 next month








photos askmen.com


Stars That Never Age


Besides being talented, I totally admire these women for aging so gracefully. I don't know what- if anything they have had done....but if they have had it done, I want their doctor!
Halle never ever EVER ages and it is amazing. I don't think I've ever seen a bad picture of her.
She gets top honors in my opinion. Anyone else I should have mentioned? I didn't put a few on here that have obviously had work.


Another one:


photo people.aol.com

Michelle Pfeiffer, 48, says she has considered getting plastic surgery:

"I toy with it.... When I'm rested, I look pretty darn OK. I can hold off on that facelift for another few years. (But) when I'm feeling weary, then I think, maybe I better make that appointment."

Justin does DRUGS??!!??























Yeah, Justin does drugs ....

















http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/quote_of_the_day/quote_of_the_day_20060715.php

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Freudian slip style:


"Are you ready to take the puppies to the pound?"


-me to Rickey, intending to say "The Vet" (to get their shots and a bath.)

Before I could correct it, Rickey responds with an evil grin, "Yes!"

Stephaine did a post today --that we can all feel her pain on--of an annoying experience with customer service at AOL.
It reminded me of some email correspondence I had saved after dealing with idiotic customer service.


Customer Contact
Customer Name: SHARI
Account Number:
Email Address:
Subject:
Other Comments: I received a notice from you on Friday, stating that you have obtained insurance for my car loan and will be billing me for it (I also just noticed the "amount due" online has increased over the normal loan payment amount). I was previously sent a notice from you that stated you needed additional information and to have my insurance company contact you--which I did-- I then checked back (to be thorough) a week later and was told you still needed the information. I then called live on 3-way with one of your customer service reps to my insurance company and the agent gave you the information that you were needing. I was told "Thank you, that's all we needed", but am now dealing with this situation again.
I have repeatedly tried to call customer service today, but the line is busy or keeps disconnecting me when I press 9 to speak to a rep. Please respond!


Sent: Monday, August 22, 2005 1:10 PM
Subject: RE: PLEASE HANDLE THIS MATTER

Good morning Shari,

I am showing that the insurance information that we have expired in June so you may want to have your agent call us again. If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me via e-mail or contact our Loan Servicing department at 1-800-xxxxxxx for further assistance.
*notice that he gives me the customer service number that I stated won't work
Sincerely,
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Administrative Supervisor


(I responded in a larger font-lol)

Are you saying I may need to have my insurance agent contact you for the third time? I have dealt with this more than enough.You may contact my insurance company: xxxxxxxxxx
. If this matter is not resolved so that I receive acknowledgment that you have the information you are lacking then I need you to respond with a supervisors contact #. I also need a direct response to know this matter has also been taken care of so that I am not charged for some insurance that you purchased unnecessarily.


**I then received a curt/smart-ass answer which I no longer have, stating that it is my responsibility to make sure they have the info they need....which I forwarded to the company. **
Finally got this response:

Dear Shari,

I am in receipt of your email regarding insurance and apologize this was not resolved back on 6/29/05.

I have personally updated your account to show your insurance as current and active and the $29 fee
that was assessed back on 8/13/05 has waived. There is nothing further needed at this time.

As far as the problem you experienced trying to get through to us, we are looking into this matter.

Please feel free to email me should you have any questions or concerns.

Sincerely,

Tammy xxxxx
Insurance Tracking Team Lead

Now the "mainstream" media is picking up on this. There is a story on MSN about the mystery of Suri and a video story. I can't wait to see this adopted-surrogate-artificially inseminated- alien-clone-baby.

http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=227197&GT1=7701


POPSUGAR reports:

Suri's Birth Certificate: The Plot Thickens
Tue, 07/11/2006 - 4:19pm
The Suri mystery has made more headlines today. I think it's time for an official statement from Tom and Katie. We need an explanation already. The public demands it! TMZ has uncovered some discrepancies on Suri's birth certificate. Apparently the same nurse who signed the birth certificate for Suri also signed the birth certificate for Brooke Shields' daughter Grier. The twist is that the license number that the nurse entered on Grier's was different than the one entered on Suri's. TMZ has updated their site with a possible reason for this and they also report :


By the way, unlike Suri's birth certificate, Brooke Shields signed the one for her daughter. Someone listed as "Friend" signed the certificate for Suri.
**Also, the hospital's policy is to file birth certificates with L.A. County within 10 days of birth. In the case of Suri, it took 20 days to file, in part because the "friend" didn't sign for 16 days. In Grier's case, Brooke herself signed two days after her birth and the certificate was filed nine days after the baby was born.
Why would you not want to sign your own daughter's birth certificate? It's all just so
weird.


TMZ FURTHER DETAILS
The same nurse who signed the birth certificate for Tom Cruise's daughter Suri also signed the birth certificate for Brooke Shields' daughter Grier, but there's an interesting discrepancy.
Both babies were born on April 18 at St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica. Anne Heffernan is the registered nurse who signed both birth certificates. As TMZ reported Monday, Heffernan, who never saw Suri, signed her birth certificate. A hospital rep says Heffernan is authorized to sign when a doctor is not available.
On the Suri Cruise certificate, Heffernan's license number is G48079. On the Grier Henchy certificate, Heffernan's license number is different -- G068399.
TMZ checked with the California Board of Registered Nursing and we were told Heffernan's license number didn't match either of the birth certificates. A Board rep told TMZ Hefferman's license number is 317058.
And it gets more interesting. The Board of Registered Nursing told TMZ the license number on Grier's certificate comes back to a Dorothy Rork. The license number on Suri's birth certificate is a mystery. There is no name attached to that license number.
By the way, unlike Suri's birth certificate, Brooke Shields signed the one for her daughter. Someone listed as "Friend" signed the certificate for Suri.
Also, the hospital's policy is to file birth certificates with L.A. County within 10 days of birth. In the case of Suri, it took 20 days to file, in part because the "friend" didn't sign for 16 days. In Grier's case, Brooke herself signed two days after her birth and the certificate was filed nine days after the baby was born.
TMZ placed multiple calls to St. John's. So far, no comment.

More Suspicious Actions.....




From TMZ.COM
EXCLUSIVE: Suri Cruise Birth Certificate

TMZ has obtained a copy of the official birth certificate of the elusive Suri Cruise, daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

The document, filed with the Los Angeles County Register-Recorder/County Clerk, was filed May 8, 2006. (Click on document to download) There are several interesting items of note:
First, St. John's Hospital has a policy of filing birth certificates within 10 days of birth. In this case, Suri was born on April 18 but the certificate was not filed until May 8, 20 days later. An official from the hospital told TMZ that the delay occurred because they needed a signature from the parents or a representative of the parents certifying birth, and that person did not come in until May 4. The person who signed is labeled "friend." The signature is not legible.
Also, the "Attendant or Certifier" who signed the certificate -- Anne Heffernan, RNC -- was not in the delivery room and did not see the baby. But a hospital rep tells TMZ that Heffernan is authorized to sign when the doctor is not available. A hospital rep said "normally the doctor signs" but it isn't a requirement.
Finally, the hospital rep said that the circumstances that triggered the eventual signing of the birth certificate were that Suri needed a passport and a birth certificate is a prerequisite to obtaining one.


Pink is the new blog comments:
"So, the person who certified this document wasn't in the birthing room and didn't actually lay eyes on the "baby"? And the only reason why the "parents" had the certificate signed was because they needed a passport ... to get out of the country ... where it's easier to buy babies? Yeah, I'm sure this whole thing isn't really a SHAM! "

Here comes another post on my wonderment of Tom Cruise and Katie's situation. What in the world are they thinking? First, they literally solicit media attention for their relationship. Conveniently timed to promote their films, there was the couch jumping on Oprah and extemely dramatically expressing his deep deep deep love, repeated kissing directly for the paparazzi and the public, officially announcing their engagement, showing off ring and giving intimate details of engagement, announcing pregnancy, leaking to press that sonogram machines were purchased for their personal use, etc.







Then came the suspicious looking pregnancy photos.....
















live journal

Of course there was an abundance of published theories on whether or not it was a fake relationship and speculation on whether it was an artificially inseminated pregnancy, all the way to an absolute fake pregnancy with a nicely timed adoption arrangement.
Then, the baby was reported to be born and we saw disheveled pictures of Katie out with Tom, seeming to indicate being a new mom was taking a grooming toll on poor Katie. She even "accidently" showed her nursing bra.

justjared
Along with Tom promoting MI3, saying how much it pained him to be promoting the movie and that all he could think of was going home to be with his new baby and Katie.

Now, for some time, we have heard nothing from them. No photos of baby Suri. There have been umpteen celebrity babies born recently and we have seen all of them, but no Suri......
There were recent reports that they were pricing first photo ops to different magazines, but withdrew the offer shortly thereafter when there were no takers at the price they wanted. Is something up? Is he trying to generate public interest by waiting? Is there something wrong and they are avoiding the situation due to all the suspicions?

http://popsugar.com/taxonomy/term/134

UPDATES...

The person that I mentioned in a previous post that had chosen to exit my life without justified cause, has re-established communication, albeit at my initiative. There is now an awkwardness between us and a distance (mainly from me, I admit) that I hope it will diminish over time. They have expressed remorse and acknowledged selfish motives. It isn't about forgiveness, I don't think. It is the realization that the person's love for me doesn't run as deep as it should. I've given way more love to this person than has been given back to me in return and it is really hard to open my heart back up all the way. Plus, I can see his/her current mentality is completely self-absorbed and shallow, and it's hard to respect them at this point. Hopefully, things will eventually improve all around....


Recently, I wrote about finally resigning from a company I was employed with for almost 9 years. I can now say it was completely the right decision. I don't miss or regret it for one second. Not at all. It took a while to mentally let go of it. It was like having a newborn baby for so many years. Even when I was "off", it was always impending, I could never let go during my hours away from it, because there were always issues that I had to mentally prepare to deal with. Although the positive side of it was having the flexibility of working from home without a boss over my shoulder or punching a time clock, the negatives became too many to stay. The relief of that load being lifted is being felt more and more everyday. I've been helping Rickey with his/our business. I'm very grateful that it is doing well. At some point, I hope to be an entreprenuer of my own business that I will feel a passion for. Drywall contracting just doesn't do it for me. So, I'm trying to hone in.

The puppies are still as cute as cute can be. Puddin is a little jealous, but I have been amazed at her tolerance for them. I was worried she might hurt them, because she is an indoor/outdoor cat. She routinely hunts and kills innocent creatures and proudly brings them to our doorstep for presentation, before eating her kill. YUUUUUCK. I'll just say that I don't think I'll ever have to worry about a mouse crossing our doorstep as long as she is around. Or a bunny, bird, squirrel, lizard, etc. :( Anyway, we continue to make sure she sees us interacting with them as members of the FAMILY, and it seems to have made an impression. What is most amazing to me and totally beneficial, is that it has brought her snob factor down a couple of notches. She is typically very stingy with showing any affection or allowing affection to be shown to her, but she stares when we are petting them and will sometimes walk over to be petted, too. They are in awe of her and will run up to her and try to lick, play, etc., but she isn't too receptive. She usually runs away and it causes them to run and "chase" after her, which has led to her turning around and giving a little warning paw tap. I appreciate her independence more than ever, because we are going through potty training burdens with the puppies, that we never dealt with from her. Yes, cats are easier. Cleaner, quiet. I can't stand when you can smell that someone has pets in their home, but the puppies are well on their way to making my house a statistic. We are crate training them, which helps, although they pee in there. We are told eventually they won't. You take them outside, they pee, they poop, they come inside, they pee, they poop. Apparently, this is completely normal for little breeds. We got a black light thing from the Veterinarian to establish where the pee is. It glows purple. No, my house will NOT smell like dog. No. :)

Happy 4th!

In honor of self-expression, I am in a PINK mood. I thought about temporarily changing the background color of my blog to pink and officially declaring it:



I just may still do it, but for now I've decided to post some pretty pink stuff to satisfy my pink urge.


















Yes, this is the real color of a real lake. Appropriately called "Pink Lake". It is in Western Australia. There are also more Pink Lakes in Canada and Africa.