We saw the movie Cars on Friday. Cute. Sweet.
We are still painting and working on the house.
Someone in my family and I are at odds right now, and they have chosen at least for now, not to be a part of my life.
We haven't spoken in almost a month.
Although I love this person, I haven't liked alot of their persona for a couple of years now.
It was utterly heart-rending when this person rejected me.
I was completely amazed that they were able to exit my life like that.
I agonized over it, racking my brain, reviewing our entire relationship, searching for things I may have done that contributed to the demise. Although, I knew in my heart that this person wasn't coming from a righteous place, and had indeed been shallow and selfish for quite sometime, I still tried to make excuses and reach for ways to excuse his/her behavior. "Maybe if I had done this or that differently".....and praying that very very soon we would be able to talk this out and renew our relationship....constant tears, anquish, heartache, intense anxiety, etc.
I soon found out though, through a third party closely involved, that this person is having the time of their life and couldn't care less about re-establishing communication with me. Not only was this person thoroughly enjoying their life, they felt no compassion upon hearing of my suffering, just commenting, "Do I have to break down to feel bad?"
When I heard that, it helped me more than anything.
I was given a few more details on this person's disgusting current personality which I had temporarily emotionally pushed aside while missing them-remembering only the best in them.
I could write a book of the kindness and love I have bestowed to him/her.
At this point, everyday is becoming easier. I am starting to recognize that I am feeling a little uplifted at the lack of negative situations and neediness that he or she caused in my life. Like a weight has been lifted. On levels I wasn't even aware of, I am realizing that maybe this person stole from my identity a little whether intentional or not, and I actually now have enough time and mental reflection to re-establish some of who I am and have had to supress.
Of course the current situation can't go on forever, there will have to be some sort of resolution, how much of one only time will tell. I do know that the longer they are able to go without being a part of my life, the harder it will be for me to open back up my heart or respect them ever again.
We are still painting and working on the house.
Someone in my family and I are at odds right now, and they have chosen at least for now, not to be a part of my life.
We haven't spoken in almost a month.
Although I love this person, I haven't liked alot of their persona for a couple of years now.
It was utterly heart-rending when this person rejected me.
I was completely amazed that they were able to exit my life like that.
I agonized over it, racking my brain, reviewing our entire relationship, searching for things I may have done that contributed to the demise. Although, I knew in my heart that this person wasn't coming from a righteous place, and had indeed been shallow and selfish for quite sometime, I still tried to make excuses and reach for ways to excuse his/her behavior. "Maybe if I had done this or that differently".....and praying that very very soon we would be able to talk this out and renew our relationship....constant tears, anquish, heartache, intense anxiety, etc.
I soon found out though, through a third party closely involved, that this person is having the time of their life and couldn't care less about re-establishing communication with me. Not only was this person thoroughly enjoying their life, they felt no compassion upon hearing of my suffering, just commenting, "Do I have to break down to feel bad?"
When I heard that, it helped me more than anything.
I was given a few more details on this person's disgusting current personality which I had temporarily emotionally pushed aside while missing them-remembering only the best in them.
I could write a book of the kindness and love I have bestowed to him/her.
At this point, everyday is becoming easier. I am starting to recognize that I am feeling a little uplifted at the lack of negative situations and neediness that he or she caused in my life. Like a weight has been lifted. On levels I wasn't even aware of, I am realizing that maybe this person stole from my identity a little whether intentional or not, and I actually now have enough time and mental reflection to re-establish some of who I am and have had to supress.
Of course the current situation can't go on forever, there will have to be some sort of resolution, how much of one only time will tell. I do know that the longer they are able to go without being a part of my life, the harder it will be for me to open back up my heart or respect them ever again.
posted by shari at 6/11/2006 03:03:00 PM
1 Comments:
Shari,
It's difficult when family members "part ways" in this manner. I have had this very same issue a couple of times, myself. The only thing that really matters, is that you have made an effort, and once that effort has been found to be finished, it is time to simply move on. God DOES bless us with more in the end than we had before.
It's like that with my brother, and I've given up with that after a lifetime of struggle. However, I have wonderful in-laws and good friends that really fill the space. I don't miss him anymore.
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