:) In honor of Super Bowl Sunday, I thought I'd put in another post from my old blog.



I went to the movies tonight. The kids are at their Dad's. Rickey wanted to stay home and watch a Nascar race. I have tried and absolutely have no interest in it. He watches it EVERY time there is one. He loves sports. Mainly football and the racing. It has been an ongoing issue in our relationship. It's hard to give these details without giving a lot of back-history, because it goes beyond him having an interest in it- and us just not sharing that in common. We argued today, because-well- my point to him-the metaphorical analogy that I used, was that for the five years we have been together, as we "walk in the garden" together... when he stops and smells the flowers that he admires, he takes for granted that I am there with him, supporting him, almost always patiently waiting for him to finish, even if I don't like the flowers he is looking at. When I see flowers that I want to stop at, somehow they are never deemed as important as his, and I allow him to lead me away from them, or am almost always rushed, or left to look at them alone, while he goes on ahead looking for more flowers for himself. He took it to mean I wanted him to miss the race. Anyway, the give and take was unfair. One of my weaknesses, is that I am not as independent as I should be. I do not like to venture off by myself. I want us to walk through the garden together. I want him to take an interest in my interests sometimes & be there for me as I have for him. Although in one sense I feel with all my heart that this is the way it should be in a great relationship, I tend to allow myself to become too dependent on him and the way he is treating me, for my happiness. Anyway, I decided in the name of self growth-to finally go somewhere by myself-to force myself to go alone, knowing I should not be so dependent on him emotionally. This is definitely not as easy to do as it should be for me. Wow, this is personal and I know I'm exposing myself -uggggghh. Anyway, I left and went to see War of the Worlds. Guess who showed up 20 minutes into the movie and came and sat down by me? He was recording the race. Then, he was blessed for his giving to me. As we were on the way home, he heard on the radio that the race was delayed due to rain, and was just beginning. At 10:30 at night. :) Anyway, as I sit here typing all of this, he is happily over there enjoying his flowers. And I'm nearby discovering and focusing on my own........ :)